My Brother, My Brother and Me (MBMBaM for short) is an “advice show for the modern era.” But that doesn’t quite get across the charm, hilarity, and heart of the podcast run by the three McElroy brothers, Justin, Travis, and Griffin—or its television counterpart, which is available in its entirety right here!
Of all the gags and goofs MBMBaM has generated over its long run, my favorites are the characters the McElroys happen to develop in totally unexpected ways. Some of them are recurring, while most are one-offs. There are too many to count, so in a celebration of comic creativity, I give you my highly scientific top ten McElroy original characters.
10. Shitty Iron Man
Listen. He may not have repulsor rays, impenetrable armor, or even articulated joints, but Shitty Iron Man has heart. I mean, he also has no way of removing his waste from the armor that he’s permanently sealed inside—but doesn’t every superhero need a weakness?
He’s trying his best, okay? Ron knows he can’t replace your dad, but he really loves your mother and he hopes that you and he can get along. And how do you repay him? You act out and then he has to ground you. And do you leave it at that? Of course not. You grab a marker and write “I hate you Ron” on your beloved pet dog then send it down with your grim missive of detestation to harangue the poor man. Shame on you.
What we know about Torsey the Torso Horse: he doesn’t have any appendages, there’s sort of just a blank slab of flesh where a normal horse’s face would be, and if you touch him your wishes come true. What kind of wishes? Money, fixing sports events, resurrecting dead loved ones. Of course, sans mouth Torsey cannot communicate in the traditional manner. Instead, he speaks via the Equestriverse, a kind of endless astral plane populated mostly by unicorns. While his appearance may frighten small children, Torsey just wants to help.
The premise: just like the movie Daddy’s Home, except with a coyote. Or like the videogame Octodad, except he eats everybody. But at the end of the day, Kyle is a coyote of humble desires: he wishes only to replace Bryce and Derek’s asshole dad Kenneth.
Not to be confused with the famous YouTuber, the concept for Dunkey came about as a misunderstanding of the controversial “donkey basketball”, a sport played by humans atop donkey mounts. Dunkey is the titular character of an inspirational animal sports movie with deep religious undertones in which Bradley Cooper transforms into the braying b-ball star either by becoming overstressed or (ala Turbo Teen) by consuming spicy food. The Dunkey property goes on to become a massively-successful franchise spawning multiple sequels, which span genres from high-powered law, returning to one’s roots, and Welsh intrigue. Oh, and there’s a sexy female Dunkey voiced by Patricia Arquette.
You have to admire Justin 8’s laser focus on his objective: returning to the year 2014 from the far future to bring Justin the McDonald’s pizza he craves so much. Sadly, it turns out that it’s not as good as Justin’s memory, but personally? I’d still kill for another taste of that zesty flavor. As it turns out, Justin 8 expires just after his fateful delivery—but not before answering a critical, world-shaking question about the future from whence he came.
Spawned from a Yahoo Answers post about a recurring nightmare featuring a casually dressed man with a walnut for a head, Nuthead simply appears to terrify the viewer before vanishing. And it’s not a walnut the size of a head, either. It’s just a normal walnut perched atop a regular human neck. But here’s the key thing about him: he appears just before the credits in every movie ever produced—and that’s how the McElroys made their millions.
3. King Nugget
When Justin demanded he be referred to as King Nuggets (the king of having nuggets), Travis mistakenly told him “I love you, King Nugget.” Thus was born the tyrannical monarch of McDonaldland, deposed by Mayor McCheese in the revolutionary struggle for a government by the people. Facing his demise at the hands of the kingslayer Kid Vid, the King sent away his only child McRib and his trusted advisor Fajita to safety, his last act of mercy before his grim rule was brought to a ketchupy end.
It would be tough to find out your friend is a secret cop when they come to your house to arrest you, right? Well what about if your friend was Jigsaw, the terrifying antagonist of the Saw series who has a thing for putting people in perilous predicaments? Like, he’s asking you to saw off your own butt with the bandsaw that you loaned him months ago! As if that’s not bad enough, he’s actually also a secret cop and you’re also under arrest. He’s the most interesting character the McElroys have ever conceived. Or is he?
1. Tit Liquid
For me, there’s no contest. None can equal the deathless, unstoppable, Horehound candy-loving, chart-topping, RV selling, assassin slash wife tempter that is Tit Liquid. Need someone killed? He’ll do it for free, just to feel some fleeting spark of emotion that diminishes with each life he takes until even these grim acts cannot peturb the core of numbness within him. He’s the world’s only living vampire, and he visits upon his victims the one thing he craves the most yet can never experience: death.
Did your favs make it onto the list, or do you violently disagree with my rankings? Let me know on Twitter, or stay off that terrible website and instead watch (or rewatch) the My Brother, My Brother and Me TV series here at VRV.